, Koran, Qur’an, Quraan, Quran, Mohammed, Muhammed, Muhammid, Mohammad, Mohammid

The "Concrete Reality" surah was one of the earliest revealed, although it's an odd choice of names: concrete didn't exist in Mecca. The 69th surah was sent down at the time when opposition to Muhammad had started, but had yet to come to a boil. Maududi shares a Tradition from Musnad Ahmad, explaining: "Before embracing Islam I came out of my house with the idea of causing trouble for the Prophet, but he had entered the mosque of the Ka'aba before me. When I arrived I found that he was reciting surah Al-Haaqqah [69]. I stood behind him and listened. I wondered at its literary charm and beauty. Then suddenly an idea came to my mind that he must be a poet as the Quraysh alleged. At that moment he recited the words: 'This is the Word of an honorable Messenger. [Another confession: Muhammad just said that the Qur'an was the word of a messenger - not god.] It is not the word of a poet.' I said to myself: 'Then, he must be a soothsayer, if not a poet.' Thereupon be recited the words: 'Nor is it the word of a soothsayer.'"

Experience for yourself the literary charm and beauty of the "Concrete Reality" surah: Qur'an 69:1 "The sure calamity! What is the sure calamity! And what would make you realize what the sure calamity is! The Thamud and the Ad people branded as false the Stunning Calamity! Samood and Ad called the striking calamity a lie. But the Thamud - they were destroyed by a terrible storm of thunder and lightning! And the Ad, they were destroyed by a furious roaring wind, exceedingly violent. He made it rage against them seven long nights and eight days in succession: so that you might see the people lying prostrate in its path, as if they were hollow palm trees tumbled down! Muhammad, do you see any remnant of them?"

We're right back to god pummeling his creation. This time the Ad and Thamud are his victims. One of these tribes, the Ad, is mythological while the Thamud is alleged to have been a smallish village that might have existed somewhere north of Mecca - one long since buried in shifting sands. But buried was not forgotten. It provided Muhammad with fodder for his favorite depiction of the almighty: "God hates men, especially when they tease his prophet." The Ad and Thamud mocked and denied so the Big Guy creamed them. It doesn't get more charming and beautiful than that.

On a roll, Muhammad used the same trick to twist some Bible stories to suit his situation. Qur'an 69:9 "Pharaoh, and those before him, and the Cities Overthrown [He wants to say Sodom and Gomorrah, but he doesn't yet know their names.], committed habitual sin. They disobeyed, disbelieving the messenger of their Lord. [Again, he has yet to learn Lot's name. It took access to Jewish rabbis and lots of practice before Team Islam became good at plagiarizing the Bible. The first attempts were jerky and incomplete.] So He punished them with an overwhelming penalty, a vehement punishment. Allah gripped them with a tightening grip. [This is vague also because Muhammad wasn't aware of the ten plagues.] We, when the water overflowed beyond its limits, carried mankind in the floating boat that We might make it a Message unto you. [He doesn't know Noah's name at this point.] That ears might be retentive and preserve it, retain its memory and bear its lessons, a memorial for you." Even this is wild. Ears, not eyes, were used to retain its memory. Not a single word of the Qur'an had been written down, Muhammad couldn't bring himself to acknowledge that the Bible already had a two thousand year written history.

The only guy in Mecca who seemed to know anything about the Bible, Waraqa, was long since dead. So all the Khadija/Muhammad combo knew was what they had gleaned from the Hanifs - just the bits and pieces of the most popular stories. Yet in Muhammad's twisted mind he somehow saw the Jewish exodus from Egypt as analogous to his torment in Mecca. He says, in essence, "Their people were bad. My people are bad. Their people ignored their prophet. My people are ignoring me. Their god wiped the unbelievers out just as my god will wipe the Meccans out." Having read the Bible, I can assure you that the only correlation between the Moses' and Muhammad's critics existed between the Islamic prophet's ears.

Let's return to "The Concrete Reality" to find the promised literary charm and beauty. After telling us that the mountains will be crushed to powder and the sky will cleave asunder and fall to pieces while eight angels bear the Lord's throne aloft, we're told that the right-handers will read the ledger and have a grand time eating and drinking, but not the lefties. They (as in "Muhammad's Meccan tormentors") will say: Qur'an 69:27 "'I wish death had put an end to me. Of no use is my wealth, vanished is my power.' [And that's because Muhammad will steal both.] The stern command will say: 'Seize him, manacle him, chain him and cast him into the Blazing Fire of Hell. String him to a chain the length of which is seventy cubits. This is the fate of those who do not believe in the Lord Most Supreme or feed the poor. They have no friend today. They will have no food save filthy refuse which the hellish eat.'"

The dark spirit of Islam still sounds more like Satan than God. What other demented soul would say: "Seize him, manacle him, chain him, burn him, make him eat filthy refuse?" Surely, such a vile rant is beneath even Ar-Rahman, the Merciful and Ar-Rahim, the Benevolent. As such, it must not have been beneath Muhammad, the Abused.

Just when you thought that there was no way more charm and beauty could get packed into a surah: Qur'an 69:38 "But nay! I swear that this is truly the word of an honored, illustrious, and noble Messenger; it is not the word of a poet, nor is it the word of a soothsayer." There it is again - the confession. These words, this message, the Qur'an itself, is from a man, not god. This "filthy refuse" stinks because it isn't godly. Muhammad swears to it. Then in true megalomaniac fashion, the prophet who is unable to find anyone willing to slather him with praise, pats himself on the back - "I'm an honored, illustrious, and noble Messenger, not a poet or soothsayer." Sure you are, pal.

Every great con leaves clues. It's their signature. And while Muhammad was a lousy prophet he was a great con artist. Charlatans become so enamored with their ability to manipulate, they dangle clues thinking they're too clever to get caught. You can almost hear Muhammad laughing as he denies being a soothsayer.

The Meccans, knowing this charlatan better than we do today, said that they wanted proof he wasn't just making this stuff up as he went along. So he told them: Qur'an 69:43 "This is a Message sent down from the Lord of men and jinn. And if the Messenger were to attribute any false words to Us, We would seize him and cut his aorta. None of you would be able to stop Us. So truly this is a Message for those who fear. Yet We know that there are those who deny and belie (this Qur'an). But truly this (Qur'an) revelation is a cause of sorrow and anguish; the nemesis of unbelievers. Verily, it (this Qur'an) is an absolute truth." Thank the Lord the surah of literary charm and beauty is over. It was beautiful how it climaxed with aorta cutting. And what could be more charming than a blend of "fear," "sorrow," and "anguish" for those who challenge the veracity of this drivel? But alas, methinks he doth protest too much.

Yet we learned something new. Muhammad is the source of the Qur'an, and he can prove that his god is real. Proof of that, however, isn't his ability to do miracles, or say things that are intelligible. No. The proof is that his imaginary god hasn't sliced his aorta. Imagine that. Since the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and Santa Claus haven't slit my throat, do you suppose they're gods, too?

We also know more about the chains and food of hell. And that's important to Muhammad because at some point in his youth, I believe he was tied up and forced to eat trash. Just speculation on my behalf, but it makes more sense than the "Lord of men and jinn" telling us that he is going to seize his creation, manacle us in hundred-foot chains, and feed us garbage while we burn in his blazing fire.