, Koran, Qur’an, Quraan, Quran, Mohammed, Muhammed, Muhammid, Mohammad, Mohammid

The last Meccan hurrah was the 46th surah. Let's see how team Islam said goodbye to their friends. Qur'an 46:1 "Ha-Mim. (Only Allah knows their meaning) The Revelation of the Book is from Allah, All-Mighty, All-Wise." Introductions made, it's time for the one hundredth rendition of: "Say: 'Do you see what you invoke besides Allah? Show me. What they have created of earth or heaven. Bring me a Book (revealed before this Scripture), or any trace of knowledge (in support of your claims), if you are truthful!" As you know, Muhammad didn't have a "Book." Under the most favorable scenario, it would be twenty years and twenty-four surahs before the first Qur'an was inscribed. And even then, it lacked "any trace of knowledge."

Next, we are asked to endure the "Day of Doom," take one hundred. Qur'an 46:6 "And when men are gathered they will be hostile enemies and reject worship!" Followed by the one hundredth rerun of "Our Clear Signs." "When Our Clear Signs are rehearsed to them, the unbelievers say: 'This is evident sorcery! It is a fabrication.'"

The Meccan surahs could be reduced to a single page essay if we merely cut out the things that didn't belong: plagiarized Hanif poetry, corrupted Bible stories, Qusayy's pagan scam, the never-ending argument, threats of pain and punishment, mind-numbing repetition, and incomprehensible gibberish. By way of example: Qur'an 46:8 "Or do they say, 'He has forged it.' Say: 'If I fabricated it, still you have no power to support me against Allah. He knows best of that whereof you talk (so glibly)! Sufficient is He a witness between me and you!'" Translated into English: Illiterate sorcerers sound foolish when they forge scripture.

But occasionally we find a morsel of truth: Qur'an 46:9 "Say: 'I am no bringer of new-fangled doctrine among the messengers,'" Apart from his warped depictions of heaven and hell, Muhammad was a copier, not an inventor. The next line was also true: "nor do I know what will be done with me or with you." As was this next one, but not in the way Muhammad intended: "I follow that which is inspired in me; I am but a Warner." There was no question that Muhammad was inspired, but so was every monopolist and tyrant. And the "inspired in me" line was a confession. Throughout time, the greatest cons have left clues. It's part of the game.

Qur'an 46:10 "Bethink you: If (this) be from Allah, and you reject it, and a witness from among the Children of Israel testifies to its similarity (of Allah's Qur'an with earlier Torah), and believed while you are arrogant and spurn it. Lo! Allah guides not wrong-doing folk.'" By saying that the Qur'an was "similar" to Jewish scripture, Allah confirmed his ignorance. As for the Islamic god bragging about finding a Jew who was willing to endorse his hellish rant, that's hilarious, as desperate as it is pathetic. If the Sira is accurate, Muhammad found one Jew among 30,000 in Medina he was able to bribe. Islam's prophet gave Abdallah bin Salam (an unlikely name for a Jew) a house he had stolen from others.

The never-ending argument marched on: Qur'an 46:11 "The disbelievers say to the believers: 'Had this (Islam) been a good thing, (such men as) they would not have gone to it before us.' And seeing that they do not guide themselves thereby, they will say, 'This is an ancient falsehood, the same old lie!'" This has merit. The Meccans were saying, "If this message was so good, bad people like Muhammad and his gang wouldn't be the only ones attracted to it. If the message were worthy, they wouldn't be hypocrites, ignoring what they preached. If the religion had substance why did Muhammad capitulate to the Quraysh Bargain? Why did he indulge in the Satanic Verses? Why did he hallucinate the Night's Journey?"

Qur'an 46:12 "Before this was the Scripture Book of Moses [the Torah] as a guide. This Book [the Qur'an] confirms and verifies (it) in the Arabic tongue; to admonish the unjust, and as glad tidings to the good-doers." This is one of Muhammad's most suicidal lines. The conflicts between Torah and Qur'an are so great, and the differences between Yahweh and Allah are so extreme, both cannot be divine. The nucleus of the Torah is the Ten Commandments, yet Muhammad murdered every one. Logic therefore dictates: if the Torah was inspired, the Qur'an cannot be for it contradicts the Torah at every turn. If the Torah wasn't inspired, then the Qur'an cannot be because it claims it was. This is the Islamic version of Russian roulette: every chamber is loaded. There's no way to win.

Qur'an 46:13 "Verily those who say, 'Our Lord is Allah.' and remain firm, on them shall be no fear. Such shall abide in the Garden." Yet the previous surah said that the Lord was Ar-Rahman, and that fearing him was required for admittance. Now there is "no fear," and the magic words are "Our Lord is Allah." Which one, if either, is true?

It's time for a celebration. It took a while to find one, but the next verse is positive. Qur'an 46:15 "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: With reluctance did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The bearing of and his weaning is thirty months. At length, till he reaches full strength at the age of forty years, he says, 'My Lord! Arouse me that I may be grateful for Your favor which You favored me and my parents, that I may do deeds acceptable to You. Be good to me in the matter of my seed. I turned to You and I surrender in Islam." As we review the final ten years of Muhammad's life, I will let you judge whether he practiced what he preached.

Then we are told, "this is nothing but the tales of ancients." Those who are "utterly lost" are "losers" sharing the same "sentence as the previous nations of jinn and men." And: "All are assigned degrees according to their deeds." Which brings us to: Qur'an 46:20 "On that Day the unbelievers will be placed before the Fire, (It will be said to them): 'You squandered your good things in this life and you sought comfort from them, but today shall you be rewarded with a penalty of humiliation.'"

To prove Allah ranked number one in peoples pummeled, the Big Guy reminds us of his dealings with the mythical Ad: Qur'an 46:21 "And make mention of (Hud) one of Ad's brethren. Behold, he warned his people about the winding sand tracts. But there have been warners before him and after him. Worship none other than Allah. I fear for you the Penalty of Doom."

Transitioning from punishments to arguments: Qur'an 46:22 "They [the Meccans] said: 'If you have come in order to turn us away from our gods then bring upon us the (calamity) you threaten us with, if you are telling the truth.' He [Muhammad] said: 'The knowledge (of when it will come) is only with Allah. I proclaim to you the mission on which I have been sent: But I see that you are a people in ignorance!'" The first person speaker in this "divine" revelation is Muhammad, not Allah. The passage lacks the "Say" trappings that are normally used to make Muhammad's words appear like they are coming from his god. This time he goofed.

Representing an impotent deity must have been as grating as the windblown sand. All Muhammad could do was threaten: Qur'an 46:24 "Then, when they saw the (penalty in the shape of) a cloud advancing towards their valleys, they said, 'This will give us rain.' 'Nay, it's the (calamity) you were asking to be hastened - a blast of wind with a painful torment destroying all things by the command of its Lord. Then by the morning nothing was to be seen but (the ruins of) their houses! Thus do We reward the disbelievers.'" While the words are muddled, the message is clear: Allah was a terrorist.

Blending the never-ending argument with pain and punishment, Allah said: Qur'an 46:26 "And We firmly established them in power which We have not given to you Quraysh, and We endowed them with hearing, seeing, and intellect, but they were of no profit to them when they went on rejecting the Signs and Verses of Allah." Allah just said that he made the Quraysh weak, blind, deaf, and dumb. Muhammad, incidentally, was Quraysh. "And they were completely encircled by that which they used to mock! We destroyed populations round about you. And We have shown the Signs in various ways, that they may turn."

That said, we come to the Ta'if demonic endorsement we covered earlier: Qur'an 46:29 "And (remember) when We turned a company of jinn towards you (Muhammad) to listen to the Qur'an, they arrived when it was being recited, and they said, 'Keep silent.' When it was over they came back to their people warning them. 'O our people we have listened to a Book [that didn't exist] which has come down after Moses, confirming [actually corrupting] what was sent down before it showing the straight path [to hell]."

Qur'an 46:31 "O our people [fellow demons] listen to the summoner of Allah and believe in him (Muhammad) so that he can forgive you and save you from a painful doom." Muhammad may have been a miracle-less, prophecy-less, inspiration-less loser but that didn't stop devils from claiming that he was just like Christ. "Believe in him and he will save you," the demons proclaimed.

Qur'an 46:32 "He who does not respond to the summoner of Allah does not weaken the power of Allah on earth. Don't they see Allah, Who created the heavens and earth, and was never tired with their creation, is able to give life to the dead? Yea, He is able to do all things." Muhammad is saying, "My god is better than your god because my god didn't need to rest on the seventh day." Yet how can Allah be better than Yahweh if they are supposed to be the same?

"On the Day the unbelievers are placed before the Fire, they will say, 'Is this real.' 'Yes, it's by the Lord! Taste the penalty you denied!'" Predictably, the farewell address ends focused on doom: Qur'an 46:35 "Have patience (Muhammad), even as the other messengers. Seek not to hasten their doom. On that day they will see the (punishment) they are promised."