, Koran, Qur’an, Quraan, Quran, Mohammed, Muhammed, Muhammid, Mohammad, Mohammid, Moslem

Rather than jump into the middle of the Qur'an's second version of the deluge, I'd like to sneak up on it so that you might begin to see how Allah manages to weave in his favorite themes. Qur'an 11:1 "This is a Book [I beg to differ. That simply wasn't true. The Qur'an wouldn't become a book for three decades or more. Most of the revelations weren't even written down. And when the first scribe assigned to Muhammad actually tried to jot some down, he was assassinated.] whose verses are made decisive, then are they made plain, from the Wise, All-aware, [He is entitled to his own opinion, but not his own facts. This is a statement of opinion, as unsubstantiated as it may be.] that you shall not serve any but Allah; surely I am a warner for you from Him and a giver of good news."

Qur'an 11:12 "Then, it may be that you [Muhammad] will give up part of what is revealed to you...because they say: 'Why has not a treasure been sent down upon him or an angel come to him?'" The things that bugged Muhammad and the Meccans the most were: no money and no proof. The prophet was born into the wealthiest family in Mecca, the custodians of the Ka'aba. Being Allah's keeper had made his kin rich. But not Muhammad, he was abandoned at birth. Dirt poor, he envied - no despised - his own family, cursed them and coveted the wealth they derived from the family religious scam.

The prophet's tormentors wanted to know why a god who had made them rich would leave his messenger poor. They wanted to know why there weren't any miracles if Allah was so powerful. Muhammad was comparing himself to Moses and Jesus. "They did miracles. They were visited by angels. Why not you?" the Meccans probed.

As an interesting aside, the verse asks: "Why hasn't an angel come to him?" The 11th surah was late Meccan, the seventy-fifth in order of revelation. The man who claimed his "revelations" were angelic, had yet to see an angel.

A raw and raging debate pervades the Qur'an. Muhammad's tribe disputed his claims and mocked him unmercifully, saying his religion was a forgery, a counterfeit. Qur'an 11:13 "Or, do they say: 'He (Muhammad) has forged it (the Qur'an).'" His contemporaries knew he was a fraud. And they weren't the least bit shy about saying so. They described him with the same words I am using.

So how do you think Muhammad answered this charge? "Say: 'Then bring ten forged surahs like it and call upon whom you can besides Allah, if you are truthful.'" The Qur'an is saying that this rubbish smells so sweet it can't be garbage. "No one, short of the great Allah himself, is capable of such a wondrous forgery." If that's not delusional, Webster needs to redefine the word.

There were many who rose to the challenge, creating vastly superior prose. Such enlightened men and women were called poets. Oral recitals were the only means of communication because the Bedouins of Muhammad's day were illiterate. And having read the Prologue, you know how our hero rewarded the poets who "brought chapters like it." He assassinated them. Dead men tell no tales. Qur'an 11:14 "But if they do not answer you, then know that it is revealed by Allah's knowledge and no god may be worshiped but He; will you submit?" Submit. Not agree. Not understand. Not even believe. Islam is submission.

Have you ever heard a politician say, "Let me make this perfectly clear?" At that moment all you know for certain is that his or her position is anything but clear. Allah uses the phrase "clear proof" in defense of Muhammad with great regularity. Yet he never provides any proof - clear or otherwise. Qur'an 11:17 "Is [Muhammad] he who has with him clear proof (the Qur'an) from his Lord, a witness from Him reciting it and before it came the Book of Moses? These believe in it; but most men do not believe. The different sects (Jews, Christians, and all other non-Muslim nations) will reject (the Qur'an), so the Fire of Hell will be their promised meeting place."

A second insight here is "most men do not believe." After ten years of preaching to his hometown this prophet inspired less than fifty men. Muhammad was a complete failure as a religious prophet. Islam, the religion of submission, failed in Mecca when Muhammad relied on his words. Islam, the political doctrine of submission succeeded in Medina when Muhammad relied on his sword. Had Muhammad not changed from prophet to pirate, we wouldn't have heard of him and his followers wouldn't be killing us today.

Speaking of the Jewish and Christian "sects," and non-Muslim nations, the Qur'an asks: Qur'an 11:17 "Who is more unjust than he who forges a lie against Allah? ... Surely the curse of Allah is on them...and the punishment shall be doubled for them." Allah, like Muhammad, was eager to curse and punish those who didn't capitulate.

Let's examine the forgeries. As we do, notice the number of times Allah says "surely," which could be translated as, "trust me." Qur'an 11:25 "Surely We sent Noah to his people: 'Surely I am a warner for you that you shall not serve any but Allah, surely I fear for you the punishment of a painful day.' But the chiefs of those who disbelieved from among his people said: 'We do not consider you but a mortal like ourselves, and we do not see any who have followed you but those who are the meanest of us. We do not see in you any excellence over us. Nay, we deem you a liar.'" If we were to simply substitute speakers, Muhammad for Noah, we could dispense with the core of the Meccan surahs and replace them with this bogus bill.

Qur'an 11:28 "Noah said: 'O my people, tell me if I have come with clear proofs from my Lord....but I consider you a people who are ignorant.'" Islam's counterfeit Noah said: Qur'an 11:30 "Will you not mind? I do not say to you that I have the treasures of Allah and I do not know the unseen, nor do I say that I am an angel." This is also transparent. Noah is saying on behalf of Muhammad that he is powerless to get his people to mind. He doesn't have god's wealth, his insights, or angelic support. He's a prophet who can't predict the future. By corrupting Noah in this way, Muhammad infers that all of god's messengers were equally inept.

Qur'an 11:32 "They said: 'Noah, you have disputed with us at length, therefore bring to us what you threaten us with, if you are truthful.' [The Meccans demanded the same thing and Muhammad's response was identical.] He said: 'Allah only will bring it to you if He pleases, and you will not escape. I intend to give you good advice, but my advice will not profit you if Allah intends to lead you astray.' Or do they say: 'He has forged it? Say: 'If I have forged it, on me is my guilt.'" If this were really god speaking, one would think he'd be a little less transparent with his agenda. Recasting Noah this blatantly, this crassly, as Muhammad, would only fool a fool.

Next, the Qur'an reveals the problem of predestination: Qur'an 11:36 "It was revealed to Noah: 'None of your people will believe except those who have already believed, therefore do not grieve at what they do. Make the ark before Our eyes and do not speak to Me in respect of those who are unjust; surely they shall be drowned.'" In other words, "Don't preach to your brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, friends and family. Don't love them; don't pray for their souls. I've got other plans for them."

Qur'an 11:38 "And he began to make the ark; and whenever the chiefs from among his people passed by him they laughed at him. He said: 'If you laugh at us, surely we laugh at you. So shall you know whom a chastisement will disgrace, and on whom will lasting punishment come down.'" Muhammad hated being scoffed at. So while we're on the subject of mockery, let's review a few of the four hundred variations of this theme in the Qur'an. All are allegedly from Allah, and all are in defense of Muhammad. In surah Qur'an 2:14 : "We were joking. But Allah will turn the joke against them." In surah Qur'an 2:212 : "Enamored are the unbelievers and they scoff at the faithful." In surah Qur'an 5:55 : "O believers, do not make friends with those who mock and make a sport of your faith, those who were given the [Bible] Book before you." And from Qur'an 6:10 : "Surely the apostles have been mocked before you; but what they had mocked rebounded on the mockers themselves." It's a broken record - one that required Muhammad to break the record of history so that no one would notice how odd it was for god and prophet to constantly mock their mockers.

Qur'an 11:40 "Our command came and water flowed forth from the valley. 'Embark in it, in the name of Allah be its sailing and its anchoring; most surely my Lord is Forgiving, Merciful.'" The idea that the ark had sails and an anchor is as incongruous in the context of a flood as depicting Allah as forgiving and merciful. His callous slap on Adam's back sealed our fate. Being predestined to the fires of hell precludes forgiveness and mercy. They are mutually exclusive, which means one or both statements must be false. Not good if you're pretending to be God.

Within the Biblical account from which this tale was forged there is considerable truth. Yahweh was indeed grieved over man's behavior. He created us in his image, with a spiritual component, so that we could have a relationship with him. But we, as we have a tendency to do, acted badly. Fortunately, rather than giving up on us entirely and letting us prematurely disintegrate into the barbaric mentality of the twentieth century, Yahweh opted for a fresh start. He saved those who chose to be with him. He told Noah to build an ark as a means of salvation's.parating Noah and Yahweh from those who had chosen a less godly path.

Noah, like all men created in God's image at the time, lived near the Garden of Eden, at the headwaters of the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers. That put him quite near the Black Sea. There is overwhelming evidence of a flood of Biblical proportions there. Traces of human settlements dating to Noah's day have been discovered buried under the shores of this inland ocean.

The Bible gives us evidence of an old earth and "humans" apart from spirit-filled man - man created in God's image. Yahweh instructed Noah to cover the ark with pitch - the residue of dead plants, animals, and time. He also talked to Noah about the sons of God marrying the daughters of men. And Yahweh told us that he put a mark on Cain's forehead so that others would know that he was under his protection. If mom and dad were the only humans, that would have served no purpose.

I share these insights because I want you to know several things. When Yahweh said that he made us out of the same elements from which he made the animals he was speaking of humans - Homo sapiens. Adam was a special creation; made of the same raw material but with one important difference. Yahweh breathed his spirit into Adam, creating us with a spiritual dimension.

The Garden of Eden was perfect, walled and guarded, protecting Adam from the death and dying that was occurring all around him - outside of God's protection. But ultimately Adam chose poorly, as did most of his descendants. And that brought us to Noah, his ark of salvation, and a very real flood that led to this new beginning.

The Qur'an follows its revisionist account of Noah's with another fairytale: Qur'an 11:50 "To Ad We sent Hud. He said: 'O my people, serve Allah, you have no ilah (God) other than He. You are nothing but forgers of lies.... Allah will send on you clouds pouring down abundance of rain.'" The legendary Hud is giving the mythical Ad the same speech. And that's a problem. It reveals that Allah lacks imagination, an editor, and a memory. The story of the Ad is repeated eleven times. And elsewhere in the Qur'an, Allah says that the Ad were blown away, not flooded. In surah 15 we read: "So those who were Ad turned insolent unjustly in the land, and said, 'Who is stronger than us.' Did they not see that Allah who created them was far greater in power than they? Yet they refused to believe Our signs so We let loose on them a violent wind for several days of distress to make them taste a most disgraceful punishment here in this world, and far more shameful will be the punishment in hell. They will have no savior."

The story of Noah and his supertanker continued by informing us that Ham made the boat and that he had a brother, Yam. Yam is the unnamed son mentioned in Qur'an 11:42. And then: Tabari I:360 "The first animal to be put aboard was the ant, and the last the donkey. When Noah brought the donkey in, Iblis [Lucifer] attached himself to its tail, so that it could not lift its legs. Noah started to say, 'Woe to you. Go in.' The donkey rose but was unable to move. Noah said, 'Woe to you. Go in even if Satan is with you.' It was a slip of the tongue, but when Noah said it, Satan let the donkey proceed. It went in, and Satan went in with it. [Lucifer and his fellow jinn must have been deathly afraid of water. Being made of fire, they would have been snuffed out, I suppose.] Noah said, 'How did you get in here with me.' Satan replied, 'You cannot escape from having me on board.' Satan stayed in the rear of the boat."

There was a reason for the Satanic slip. Muhammad's most embarrassing moment, the Satanic Verses, was called a slip of the lip. He said that Satan put words in his mouth when he acknowledged Mecca's pagan idols in return for a bribe. This story was designed to drag Noah down to his level.

Then, straight out of Islam's warped mind we learn: "Noah also carried along Adam's corpse, making it a barrier between the women and men." Since they were all married and from the same family, why? "They boarded the boat on the 10th of Rajab and they left on Ashura Day, therefore all people should fast on Ashura. Before the Flood, two sons were reportedly born to Noah who both perished. One was called Canaan. He was drowned in the flood." Well, if you don't believe that, and you shouldn't what about this: "All the forefathers between Noah and Adam were in the state of Islam." Yes, all the Bible characters were good Muslims.

"The ark carried them around the entire Earth in six months. It did not come to rest anywhere until it came to the Sacred Territory of Mecca and Medina. [We should have guessed.] However, it did not enter the Sacred Territory but circled around for a week. [Circumnavigation must have preceded circumambulation.] The House built by Adam was lifted up, so that it was not submerged - the inhabited House with the Black Stone." Since every soul was aboard the ark, the only thing that could have "inhabited the House with the Black Stone" was Allah. In other words, the Ka'aba wasn't a shrine to the Islamic god as Muslims would have us believe; Allah lived there.

"The oven with the water boiling that Allah made as sign between Himself and Noah was the oven of stone that belonged to Eve.... On Friday, the 10th of Rajab it took off. It passed the House, which had been lifted up by Allah so it would not be submerged. Noah circumnavigated it seven times. It then went to Yemen and returned." Ar-Rahman lived in Yemen; Muhammad didn't want to leave him out.